My fertility journey

I met my future husband in 2009. He was a widower & raised a 12-year-old daughter. After some time, I began to treat my adopted daughter as my own. I completely focused on her upbringing & tried to give her motherly love & care, which she lost at the tender age of five, following the death of her mother. I was 29 years old & living in the UK, where many women think about having children after 30, so I took birth control & didn’t think about pregnancy.
Time passed, my daughter grew up, my biological clock was ticking … After a couple of years, my husband & I thought about having a child. My husband treated this philosophically: let nature itself decide for us, there is no need to rush or pressure ourselves. I had never had problems with women’s health before, so initially I shared this approach. I had no doubts that everything would work out! However, as time passed nature was slow to respond, & gradually it became clear that something wasn’t quite right.
In the UK, couples are eligible for limited free fertility support. I made three attempts at insemination (IUI or IUI — intrauterine insemination), but they did not lead to anything. By this time, discord began in the family. My step-daughter entered a difficult adolescence. My husband, tired of the constant difficulties with his daughter, suddenly abruptly changed his mind & said that "if it doesn’t work out, then it’s not necessary, I’m not ready to go through all this again with the second child,". This hurt me deeply. After a long period of quarrels & constant showdowns, I left.
After six months of a separate life, we got back together. My husband has pondered on the situation & realised he wanted this child just as much as I did.
By law in the UK, only couples without children have the right to free IVF (not our case), so we tuned in to private clinics. If only at that moment I had the experience that I have now! I would have done everything differently, chosen a different clinic & found a different doctor! But then I had no idea what to focus on & how to approach the process. Today I know how important it is to make the right choice, & with my clients I study this topic very carefully.
The clinic we chose specialized in tests. Everything had to be tested in great detail, special attention was paid to the so-called ‘immune factors of infertility'. I will talk about this in more detail later, but looking ahead, I note that today most of the medical community does not find confirmation of the need for such tests. Nine years ago, I did not know about this & was led to believe in their necessity. The tests showed not very good results, & I was prescribed a course of very expensive injections & intralipid drips (I will also talk about this later).
I began treatment with great enthusiasm. Unfortunately, the end of the course was overshadowed by a difficult event. My mother, the person most dear to me, passed away. The world collapsed, and the pain of loss made it impossible to focus on pregnancy. I found the strength to enter the protocol only after two months, but I clearly rushed things.

ATTEMPT #1.
2014, aged 35.
ICSI protocol. 8 eggs, 5 — fertilized, only two embryos turned out, transfer on the 5th day.
Result: span.
After receiving a negative result, I realized that this clinic was not for me & turned to another one.

ATTEMPT #2.
2015, 35 years.
ICSI protocol. 6 eggs, 5 fertilized, 3 survived to the 5th day. Transfer of 2 embryos. We decided to freeze the third embryo.
Result: span.
After the second attempt, I plunged into depression, faith in medicine & in my own body quickly melted away. I realized that I needed to take a break, the death of my mother & two unsuccessful attempts crippled me greatly. I devoted several months to refilling my source: yoga, healthy eating, fasting, vitamins, acupuncture. All this had a significant effect, I physically felt my strength & energy had increased. All hormone levels returned to normal, immune problems were a thing of the past, & I felt that I was ready to think about motherhood again. A frozen embryo was waiting at the clinic (her husband jokingly called it Picard, after the name of the French frozen food brand).

ATTEMPT #3.
YEAR. 36 years. Frozen embryo transfer in natural cycle.
Result: pregnancy!

I was sure that this time everything would work out. Throughout the pregnancy, a smile reigned on my face, I felt joyous & continued to play sports. My husband & I went on a trip & were in seventh heaven!
My pregnancy ended at 22 weeks due to medical reasons. August 5, 2017 was the darkest day of my life. We had lost the baby we were waiting for & had wanted so much. We already felt his movements, talked to him, made plans… but fate decreed otherwise. We named our son Victor, & I will always remember & love him. When Nikolai grows up, I will definitely tell him about his older brother.
However, August 5 was only the beginning of a nightmare that continued for several more months. Three purges, sad endometrium, uterine rupture. I came out of this horror in severe depression & with the Mirena coil, which was fitted for me so that my uterus would not stick together.
Memories of those days are still painful. I don’t remember how I lived. Constant exhausting internal monologues "well, why? for what?! why exactly my child?!" seemed to drive me crazy. Combined with frustrating attempts to understand what to do next.
Then came a strange period of emotional rollercoaster. There were days when I felt a feverish energy & a desire to get pregnant again as soon as possible so that I could forget for a minute about my loss. But then a sticky depression enveloped me, & just the sight of a pregnant woman on the street could provoke a tantrum. It ended when I went through all the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance. My husband supported me very much, but he went through these stages faster & because of this, at some points there were difficulties in the relationship. "I understand that you are suffering. But maybe it’s time to turn the page already?". How painfully his words hurt me! I owe much to to my father & sister, without them I would not have made it. They helped me literally rise from the ashes.

ATTEMPT #4.
2016 37 years.
ICSI protocol.
3 eggs taken, 2 embryos turned out, transfer of both embryos on the 5th day.
Result: span.

ATTEMPT #5.
2017. 37 years.
EXI protocol.
5 eggs, 2 eggs fertilized. 1 embryo left, transfer on day 5
Result: pregnancy.
For a period of 6 weeks, all patients of reproductive clinics undergo ultrasound. I am lying on the couch, the doctor runs the device over my stomach & does not hear anything. There is no heartbeat. Miscarriage at 8 weeks.
This loss was not experienced as acutely as the loss of Victor, but the emotional state was very difficult. It became difficult for me to communicate even with very close friends with children, & I simply could not see pregnant women.

ATTEMPT #6
2017, 37 years.
ICSI protocol.
The doctor continued to recommend only strong doses of stimulation, despite my cautious objections. The authority of the doctor outweighed, & I entered the protocol. But when I administering injections, I knew that if I received a negative result, I would change the clinic. I felt that such stimulation was not suitable for my body & my reduced ovarian reserve. In this cycle, only two eggs were taken from me & the embryos did not survive until the 5th day of transfer. For me, the issue was closed & I changed the clinic without regrets.

ATTEMPT #7
2017, 38 years.
5 eggs, 5 embryos, PGD embryos.
Result: Due to preimplatation genetic diagnostics, all embryos were frozen.
The result of PGD: 2 normal embryos, 2 -abnormal, 1 -mosaic (I will also talk about PGD separately).

It was my birthday. This time, for some reason, I was confident in my abilities! We went in the direction of "soft" stimulation, it was also EXI, with PIXI (I'll talk about this in more detail later). It would seem that we are at the finish line. There are two good embryos (I have two children in my head). It’s just a matter of moving! But then physical wounds made themselves felt. For a YEAR, I couldn’t transfer embryos because I didn’t have an endometrium growing. I tried transfers in the natural cycle, hormonal transfers.
Leeches, oxygen, physiotherapy, even massage of the Mayan tribes were use! I learned what acupuncture & reflexology are & what raspberry leaf tea, sage, beets, nettles, Chinese herbs taste like. I tried injections of stem cells into the uterus, lymphatic massage… In other words, I tested all available scientific, folk & even magical methods. The result of the effort is the cherished 6 mm of endometrium, the minimum needed.

ATTEMPT # 8.
YEAR. 38 years old.
8th protocol, transfer of frozen embryo (NORMAL) in the natural cycle.
Result: pregnancy.

HCG began to grow rapidly, but since I no longer believed in a happy pregnancy, I obsessively checked the HCG levels. After a week and a half, it began to fall actively. Miscarriage.

But I couldn’t stop.

I had another hysteroscopy to check scars on the endometrium & uterus, & special tests that are only popular in Greece. I treated everything possible with prescribed antibiotics, did LIT therapy (white bodies from my husband’s blood were extracted, and they were put in my hands).

ATTEMPT # 9.
YEAR, August. 38 years.

I decided to do a "soft" protocol to get regular embryos whilst I prepared to transfer the genetically tested frozen one. To be honest, this protocol was more of a "cry for help", a rush of accumulated adrenaline, I was already just walking along the knurled one, because I could not stop.
Result: no eggs in this cycle.

The last failure became a tub of cold water, & I finally said to myself: "That's it, Yulia, STOP."

On my birthday, my husband woke me up with the words "congratulations, darling!" & my heart dropped. 39 years. For me, it was like a milestone beyond which it seemed, I would have to come to terms with the fact that in my life there would never be the joy of motherhood.
My husband, who was always against donor eggs & adopted children, suddenly said to me that day: "Don't be sad, my love, nothing will stop us from being parents. Let’s think about adoption." It is difficult to convey what those words meant to me. I saw that the path travelled changed not only me, but also him.

ATTEMPT #10.
I am exactly 39 years old. Transfer of my last normal frozen embryo.
Result: pregnancy.

By this point, I had already forgotten what it means to enjoy two stripes. In a world of bad news, you quickly forget that there is good news somewhere.
At six weeks, on the day of my first screening at the fertility clinic, I started bleeding heavily. Everything inside broke off, Lord, really again?! I went to the clinic in a taxi & sobbed into the phone, talking to my sister. "This time," I said, "this is it! If nothing happens, then I give up, there is no more strength within me!
Ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat.
Diagnosis: retrochial hematoma.
Bleeding continued until the 20th week of pregnancy. Until the 16th — there was a strong toxicosis. From the 17th week, my cervix was sewn up. I laid in bed for the remaining 4.5 months of pregnancy.
After nine years of struggling with infertility, Nicholas was born, named after Nicholas the Wonderworker.

P. S. I had the 11th protocol, mosaic embryo transfer. I hoped that everything would grow together, & our son would have a brother or sister, but this did not happen.

In our coaching sessions, I provided a safe space for her to express her emotions and navigate the complex journey of healing. She found solace in knowing that she wasn’t alone, and together, we began the process of rebuilding both her emotional and physical well-being.

One of the remarkable aspects of her journey was her commitment to understanding and addressing the factors that contributed to her loss. Through careful investigation and guidance, we explored all possible reasons, ensuring a comprehensive approach to her fertility and well-being.
As she and her husband moved through the healing process, she faced the challenge of preparing her body for a future pregnancy. We worked together to create a holistic plan, incorporating both emotional support and physical well-being strategies.

The road to her next pregnancy was not without its worries, but she faced each hurdle with courage and determination. Throughout the ups and downs, we stayed connected, offering continuous support and encouragement.

Today, we celebrate the joyous arrival of her little girl!
Her resilience, strength, and commitment to her journey to motherhood inspire us all.

To every woman out there navigating the complex waters of fertility and pregnancy, remember that you’re not alone, and there’s strength in seeking support. Our client’s story is a testament to the power of resilience, hope, and the incredible capacity of the human spirit to heal and embrace new beginnings.
#JourneyToMotherhood #FertilitySuccess #Resilience #NewBeginnings

Together with her husband, they decided to undergo IVF. Pregnancy came with the third cryo-transfer & a wonderful girl was born, named Paloma.
After the birth of the long-awaited child, Daru was overtaken by postpartum depression. It took several months to return to normal, but the everyday life of motherhood was more difficult than Dara anticipated. They were living without a support system in a foreign country, where there are no free kindergarten or nursery facilities, & nannies are very costly.
Eventually, she was able to send her three-year-old daughter to pre-school, & finally felt there was time to focus more on her career, her husband, herself… but then comes an email from the reproductive clinic. It is to remind her of the extension of payment for the storage of frozen embryos. In principle, it is logical & believe me, I would also like to have something else frozen, & for my son to not be an only child. But unfortunately, there is nothing.
A couple of months after this, we met Dara.
At this time, she told us she was gathering her strength to talk to her husband & think about what she wanted to do. After a family meeting, they decided that they didn’t want to pay any more, but the daughter seemed to need a brother or sister.
However, in the way that she spoke, we sensed everything was not so simple. Over time, we developed an understanding that she was just not ready, & simply didn’t want to go through the transfer, pregnancy, childbirth, & God forbid, postpartum depression. Here we have a woman that tries to think about everyone else above herself, she does not consider her own wants & needs.
Throughout this, we must not forget that Dara was very religious. She went through IVF, froze the embryos, but now she isn’t even ready to use them.

With unused embryos, one of the following usually occurs:
1. They are disposed of
2. They are transferred to a family as donor embryos
3. They are used for medical research

None of these options suited Dara, so we thought long & hard to find a legally, & religiously acceptable solution. As a result, we requested the clinic defrost the embryos ready for disposal. Dara decided to take them to be placed symbolically at the grave of her beloved grandfather, an option that would leave her with no guilt or regret.

We had perfect preparation for the protocol:
· informational (Zhenya went to the protocol with full information about all stages of IVF);
· physical (recommendations for improving lifestyle, health, nutrition, physical activity);
· psychological (worked on numerous fears, lack of understanding on the part of relatives & friends)

The protocol passed without unexpected events. This did not surprise us, since Zhenya and I were well prepared for all possible problems, paying special attention to preparation before the transfer. Zhenya had an amazing attitude! She was ready for anything and really believed in the process being successful. During the entire waiting period, she actively worked, went about her life, & followed all the necessary recommendations.

A couple of days before the scheduled HCG test, Zhenya does the first pregnancy test. And, oh my God, — a faint line! The next day, the line is darker, & more visible.
On the 7th day after the transfer (dpp), she tests HCG, the result is 53.5 nmol / l. As expected, Zhenya retakes HCG in two days. After all, we expect HCG to double every 48/72 hours. 9dpp — 87.5 nmol / l.

Here the most interesting thing begins. Zhenya already knows a lot about infertility, & HCG & does not let the process take its course. Donate blood again for HCG. 12 dpo — 88.4 nmol / l. That is, for three days, HCG practically did not increase. The doctor cancels support. I, too, for my 11 protocols, in principle, know what to expect. I support her morally. We are discussing what to prepare for, what options are available. She is not discouraged, rather she is optimistic about the next transfer.

At 17 dpo, Zhenya decides to use a pregnancy test. Check, maybe there is no line already, & HCG is going down, which means that menstruation will begin soon. The text shows a bold second bar. She immediately runs to take HCG & the result comes — 627.3 nmol / l.

The reproductive specialist is shocked, the support is resumed, & everyone is trying to look for signs of an ectopic pregnancy. Maybe there is something in the pipe? What’s happening? What goes wrong?

The doctor says that when the result reaches 1500 nmol/l, come for an ultrasound. 19 dpo — 2214 nmol / l. 21 dpo — 2413 nmol / l. 23 dpo — 4953 nmol / l. 25 dpo — 8900 nmol / l. Of course, they found a fetal egg on ultrasound, a little later they saw the embryo & heard a heartbeat.

Zhenya & her husband were very worried about the development of the pregnancy, & I was with them. However, all additional ultrasound showed normal development of the fetus for all medical indicators.

Right before the new year, they did NIPT, & on January 1 (this is how real professional’s work!) they get confirmation that the girl is healthy according to NIPT! The happy parents of this couple received wonderful gifts — T-shirts with funny inscriptions that they will soon become grandparents!

Immediately after the New Year, the couple had a 12-week skinning, which showed that everything was within the normal range.

Of course, there are still 2 trimesters ahead, but I think that everything will be fine. Let’s all together wish this couple to enjoy the pregnancy (finally!) & give birth to a beautiful tigress in the summer, who just clung to this life with her claws, teeth, & tail!

The moral of this story is this: firstly, HCG really does not owe anything to anyone, & secondly, & this is the main thing, miracles DO happen.
As I tell my clients, any pregnancy, including pregnancy after IVF, is natural. Since nothing happens simply according to medical rules, there is God’s providence for everything.

Olga underwent a full examination. Now it was her husband’s turn to take a spermogram. Analysis showed that he had no spermatozoa in his seminal fluid. Doctors made a disappointing diagnosis: testicular cancer. The couple were offered to try taking testicular tissue using the TESA procedure (this procedure allows a very small section of testicular tissue to be obtained using local anaesthesia) before starting chemotherapy, or to consider donating sperm.
They were given booklets with information on where to go, & it was with them & eyes full of tears that Olga came to the consultation.
There were many questions. She was upset that, under the influence of her husband, they had spent so much time relying on nature. At the same time, she was insanely sorry for her husband, because he had cancer & needed to be treated. However, she was also sorry for herself, that she might not be able to become a mother or mother of her husband’s child …
We had to deal with everything gradually. The first step was to tune in to a positive TESA result, then if everything goes wrong, we could consider all possible further options.
We froze 4 ampoules with spermatozoa, which could be used for insemination. I had questions for local doctors (it was in France) why they didn’t offer Olga stimulation & ICSI.
The husband was operated on (the testicle was removed) & sent for chemotherapy.
Olga began to prepare for insemination. In parallel, we worked on her physical & emotional state. After all, there were only 4 chances to have a child now!
The first insemination ended in failure, there were only 3 chances left. Olga did a tremendous job & tuned in to the next protocol in the most serious way. She actively used methods such as meditation, visualization, preparation for implantation, followed by an action plan for the waiting period.
This month ended with happy news, & now a handsome son is growing in the family!

Marina knew nothing about IVF, like so many women, she never considered she would have to find out. She dreaded injections, loss, failure, & the subsequent inability to have children from her husband. Marina also felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, deep down she resented her husband for having to go through this.
Her husband also suffered emotionally, feeling ashamed that he would put his wife through these great trials.
Marina said that his first wife left as soon as she found out about the severity of his illness, telling him, "I can’t stay with you, because, firstly, it will be difficult to have children, and secondly, you can die at any moment and even if there are children, I will have to raise them alone. I’m not ready for this".

Over several consultations we worked hard to combat the fears, negative thoughts & the full logistics of IVF protocol. We settled on the best clinic, & the right protocol for the couple. I watched a strong woman enter the IVF clinic, she as calm & confident about the success of the procedure. Her face clearly read, "I will succeed!"

Thirteen eggs were taken from her. Out of those thirteen, eight were fertilised, & five embryos were frozen. A few months later, she returned for the embryo transfer. Pregnancy came immediately, & a few days ago, the couple welcomed a beautiful baby girl named Paloma,

Situations are different, & so is the path each person takes to reproductive technology, which is helping men & women with cancer fulfil their dreams of becoming happy parents.

Natalia was 36 years old & had been trying to get pregnant for 6 months, & then immediately made an appointment with a reproductive specialist so as not to waste time!
The first tests were bad. She was told that she had no eggs left (AMH was just over zero - 0.2) & already was approaching early menopause. She was given the opportunity to consider donor eggs.

When Natalia came for the first consultation, she was shocked that IVF is not always a guaranteed option. She believed that if it didn’t work out naturally, then with the help of medicine she could give birth to many more children ... After all, she knows so many celebrities who became parents at a fairly late age!
At the first two consultations, we had to deal with IVF - what is it, what kind of procedure, we discussed our own & donor eggs, Natalia wanted to understand - what will happen to her marriage if she does not give birth to her husband at all? She also considered using her sister's egg, but still could not imagine that she would have a child who, as it were, belongs to her husband & her sister. We discussed millions of different scenarios (including the ones that were not so nice to think about!).

As a coach who is expected to solve problems, I created an action plan, which she agreed to.

I sent her to another clinic that works with softer & more natural protocols, they are not afraid of "difficult" patients. The first meeting with the new reproductologist ended for her with the following words: “Your tests are disappointing, but we can try the following: A, B, C, D, E ... & if you take a percentage here & a percentage there, then in the end it can make a difference & may bring results”
Since the next few months promised to be quite stressful, we decided that Natalia would: A) keep a special IVF journal on a daily basis, where she would describe her feelings & fears every day, set goals - how to support & please herself during this difficult process with so many unknowns & follow them, B) do daily hormonal exercises C) visualization.
I also taught her the Neutral Navigator technique, which allows you to align your emotional state at critical moments.

Natalia also organized a joint consultation with her husband John.
I reminded them that IVF preparation & treatment should be a joint effort. As a couple, they should be a team, help & support each other: if she went for an ultrasound or a consultation, then he buys medicines & cooks dinner.
The first protocol for the couple was antagonistic & they were ready for the fact that they would have 1-2 eggs & they did not know how many embryos they could get.

They were surprised when they got 6 eggs from the first IVF cycle! And what is even more incredible, all 6 eggs were fertilized...until the 5th day they had only, or rather, two WHOLE embryos. They decided not to do PDG, immediately transfer one embryo & freeze the second.

We actively worked with Natalie before implantation. I also recommended getting a few acupuncture sessions (before & after the transfer) & drinking my secret implantation elixir!

I was pleasantly surprised how confidently & calmly she survived two weeks of waiting, focusing on her usual daily routine. She said that my IVF magazine helped her a lot, as it gave her structure to her thinking & did not lead her astray!

Natalia received a call from the clinic when she was at a meeting with a client, where she burst into tears of joy, as the clinic confirmed her pregnancy.

There were many additional worries: the first ultrasound, the threat of pre-eclampsia, but nevertheless, a little princess was born.